fat guy on a plane

One time on a plane I sat next to a very obese person on my flight to Hawaii.  his lard butt spilled over about six inches into my personal space.  It was a very cramped, and squished seven hour flight.  at several points during the flight the fat man had to get up to go to the potty, so I had to get up out of my seat and he was so fat he squished me against the seats opposite our own.  Of course when the waitress came he ordered a pepsi and the Large snack pack.  so I sat and watched him eat dried fruit and pretzels for a half an hour.  he chewed with his mouth open.  When the plane was about an hour away from Oahu he started to have bad gas.  It smelled like onions and ketchup.  Yes i remeber the smell even now.  We fianlly got to the destination and I sprinted off the plane with all my bags and breathed in the fresh air.

mini skills

One of my many mini skills is I am really good at pouring liquid into a glass. I never spill.  Like when I’m pouring orange juice or pouring milk into cereal or mixing ingrediants, I never spill.  Another mini skill I am good at is playing the video game Super Smash Bros. Brawl.  None of my friends can beat me.  I’m just too good.  I have never met anyone that can beat me at Brawl.  Espicially when I play with a gamecube controller.  Sometimes my friends get pissed at me because they are tired of losing so they just don’t let me play with a gamecube controller.  I am also good at walking the dog.  This may sound weird but, I can give the dog just enough slack on the leash so she does not choke herself.  Which she will do if you don’t know how to hold the leash right.

goin to dj’s house

sometimes after school i go to my friend djs house.  dj lives about a quarter mile from school so we just walk to his house.  when im at his house i like to eat top ramen and drink sprite and Barq’s rootbeer.  While we eat  and drink we like to play Super Smash Bros. Brawl.  He always beats me though because he owns the game…  We only have like an hour at his house though because we have to go to weightlifting at like 4:40 then we go to wrestling practice.  Sometimes we watch hannah Montana and icarly on nickolodean because its like the only thing on tv thats good after school.  On the way to practice we always play catch with a hackey sack.

improv play!!!!!!!

Squee’s leg is trapped under a fallen candycane.

So he started eating it.

So Nermal thought it would be cool to bite his butox.

Nermal: I’m gonna bite your butox….

Squee: What did you just say?

Nermal: nothin I wasn’t talkin to you!

Nermal: I was talkin to Dirk.

Dirk: No you were’nt.

then Dirk died.

Squee eats the candycane.

Nermal eats squee.

Nermal is still hungry so he eats some candy cane.

Nermal: AAAAAAARRRRGG!!!!

Nermal is frustrated because there is not enough candycane

he would eat Dirk but he is dead and that would be gross

The old bus

The old bus looked like it was old and many people had been on it in different moments in time.  This bus has been on many roadtrips to many places while carrying people having a good time.  Now it just looked forgotten and unwanted.  I held my nose as crept inside the ancient vehicle because the place stank of acrid mold.

The abandoned old school bus looked like a big beached metal whale that could find it’s way back to the ocean.  It looked very out of place next to the old fancy Victorian houses.  The bus was the only dirty and unkempt thing in sight.

annoying kid sitting behind me

in 6th period today i was sitting down minding my own buisness when this kid sitting behind me made a really annoying noise that sounded a lot like this: meeeeehhhhhhh.  i asked politely for him never to make that noise again.  i knew he was gonna make that noise again.  the noise sounded like a really whiny noise that would normally come from a child.  the noise made me so mad.  sure enough about 10 mins later: meeeeehhhhhh.  i stood up in my chair and yelled for him to shut up.  then the teacher yelled for me to shut up sit down and not to have such a bad atitude towards other students.  how fair is that?

sour cream on my pants

today in school, at lunch I was putting mustard on my burger when this one kid that i dont know spilled sour cream all over my black sweatpants.  and now i look like some idiot with a sourcream stain on my pants.  the kid that spilled it on me thought it was pretty funny cuz he was laughing really loud. i was ticked so i flicked some salsa at him with the serving spoon.  he screamed and the lunch lady looked over and started yelling at me.  then the janitor saw the salsa on the floor and came over and started yelling at me too. and now the lunch lady doesnt like me anymore.

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